Power Couple Elements

partner and genuineness in our bond, it leads to a complete confidence that make us both feel like we can accomplish anything we set our minds to doing!  

Power evokes strong feeling of strength and safety in the relationship! 

Let’s break down this “Power” term - it stems from a mix of these ingredients, which we call Power Elements:

POWER ELEMENTS

1. Commitment

2. Acceptance

3. Honesty

4. Trust

5. Empathy

6. Forgiveness

7. Consistency

8. Accountability

9. Boundaries

10. Responsiveness

1: COMMITMENT

In our own relationship, we love to both say and hear “I love you”.  We keep it purposeful by not automatically saying it as a way to get off the phone — we say it when we mean it, and we say it often! 

It means everything.

During the initial phase of dating each other, it would have been wildly inappropriate to say “I love you” before the proper time.  It was a wonderful process of discovery when we built this curriculum because we went back to a time where we re-visited the feelings of early dating; studying this phase of our relationship was important to us because we wanted to understand what the foundation of our relationship was built on. We discovered that even in the early stages of dating we were using the “genuine like” as a doorway to finding acceptance and being honest with each other — on a deeper level than we’d ever experienced before. We were simply trying to determine if this human that we liked so much was right for what we wanted in life. 

As we examined those early times of our dating relationship, it became very evident that at our core, we just really LIKED each other.  There was a genuine feeling of “I like this human”.  I like how they are, how they act, and how they generally make me feel.   It was authentic, and genuine.  We didn’t need to change each other.  We didn’t need to modify our behavior to be liked. We were truly ourselves, and we fundamentally liked each other.

We commit to someone that we truly enjoy. The formula is "like" + "love".

Don’t get us started up again on the english language having way too few words to describe different kinds of love. There’s no better feeling than having your most important person say how much they really like you. In some ways it can feel more powerful than an “I love you”. If you have been committed to one another for a long time, you may know how the lovey-gooey-twitterpated feeling of “being in love” can wax and wane. Sometimes you may love your partner just because you promised to, even though you may not be feeling the romance. But to genuinely LIKE your partner at any given time, because you have connection, and choose them over anyone else because you “just get them” is its own special kind of kinship.

But it goes further than "feels". At some point we get serious about this thing, and start making it a priority. Soon it becomes a "committed relationship". It's commitment that distinguishes us from the rest of the pack. We are now a couple. A Duo. A pair. When we have true commitment, we feel a bond like no other. It elevates us beyond the norm and gives us Power to take on life, together.

2: ACCEPTANCE

Truly LIKING someone has a wonderful byproduct — acceptance. In a truly healthy relationship, we are accepted for what we are. There is no needing to change a person into something different.  Many relationships have greater challenges because one partner is trying to fix or change their mate.  It’s incredibly difficult to be in a deeply committed relationship with someone that you wished was a little different, or better.

Real acceptance is a wonderful and powerful feeling.  When we are accepted for who and what we are, we can blossom into even greater potential because we have the foundation of being confident in who we are.  Acceptance promotes growth and gives us courage to do more! Acceptance gives us power.

4: TRUST

As you can see, these Power Elements feed into each other.  Acceptance breeds Trust. Trust is such an essential part of the Power that we feel in our relationship.  You just absolutely must trust your other half.  We have promised our partner that we would be trustworthy.  This is a two-way street, and both partners have to participate in building trust.  As time goes by, trust gets deeper. Eventually we get to a place of confidence that we feel safe knowing our partner is genuine and true. Trust gives us power.

5: HONESTY

When we are accepted for who we are, and have trust in our relationship, the fruit of this is Honesty.  If we trust our partner to accept us, we can be honest in a way that we’ve never achieved with another human.  Honesty is the duty of every committed couple. Sometimes we have to say things that are hard; sometimes we need to hear hard truths that will make us grow. When we are embraced as our true selves, and there is confidence in our bond, the outcome is truth.  If we trust our partner to accept us, we can attain a sacred level of truthfulness. Yes,  sometimes, we must express difficult sentiments; sometimes, we need to face challenging realities that will stimulate our growth. Truth is the responsibility of every dedicated pair. Honesty allows us to truly communicate, and this gives us both great power.

5: EMPATHY

When someone is brutally honest with us, and we care deeply for them, our natural response is empathy. When we have empathy for someone, we are identifying with their emotions. We are allowing their feelings to enter our existence and we respond with compassion and harmony.  As we empathize, we resonate with their emotional state. We invite their sentiments and experiences into our own life, reacting with understanding and balance. Empathy endows us with the capacity to heal. Empathy gives our partner power.

6: FORGIVENESS

Having the ability to forgive is a skill that not everyone possess.  Many people have past hurts living inside them that they cannot conquer; they carry these hurts into the present. When they are wronged, they re-live those hurts again — and it’s incredibly difficult to transcend this tendency and offer forgiveness. Having the ability to heal wounds, communicate about hurt, and both accept and offer true forgiveness gives your relationship incredible power.  No couple is perfect, obviously.  There will be fights, and disagreements and each of use will at some point wrong our partner and need to both ask for and offer forgiveness.  

7: CONSISTENCY

Being consistent gives your partner peace. Making consistent effort in your relationship and your business puts a sense of calm into the formula.  They know they can count on you. When you consistently show up and deliver excellence, you give your partner (and your business!) a steady foundation. When your partner recognizes your reliability it blossoms into a beautiful symbiotic cycle of both partners being stable for each other.  Consistency blossoms into stability and that gives you both Power.

8: ACCOUNTABILITY

Ultimately, accountability is being responsible for what you have committed to do.  In a relationship with genuine trust, honesty and consistency, there is no excuse for when we screw up.  If we make mistakes, we own up - immediately.  We can be honest because we know we are accepted, and we know that we can be forgiven.  But we must own our own stuff.  If we are accountable for our actions, our conscience will be clear and we will feel power.

9: BOUNDARIES

Even though we are a deeply committed couple, we still have certain things that we choose to avoid because they bring a negative aspect to our lives. We have limits. We must have the ability to both set our own boundaries, while at the same time show respect for your mates’ boundaries.  Boundaries are limits, and limits play a crucial role in defining acceptable behaviors in a relationship.  Boundaries guard our welfare, which ultimately put us in a feeling of being safe. Boundaries aid in fostering trust, security, and respect within relationships. Boundaries make us safe, and safety gives us Power.

10: RESPONSIVENESS

Being responsive is to provide a timely action. This means we are vigilant, and when we see a need we can fill, we make intentional effort.  Having a partner that is responsive is invaluable when considering running a business together.  Not having to ask for assistance, but rather, enjoying the help without having to make a request puts both you and your partner well down the road to success.  Being responsive comes from living in an active awareness of what each other needs. This type of pattern will give you both confidence that you and your partner will do whatever needs to be done.  

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SUMMARY

That’s quite the list of ingredients!  

These POWER ELEMENTS emerged as we did the deep dive of writing this program. We really wanted to parse the key ingredients of what has made our own relationship work so well. It was clear to us that not every couple enjoys the same level of respect and safety as others. As a married/committed couple we are constantly managing both our relationship and our business interests.  It can get overwhelming!  These Power Elements will arm, guard, and protect us when “life” happens.